The lives of hundreds of YWAM Denver staff and students changed in an instant at 12:30 a.m. one late-night last December when a young man entered a dormitory on the YWAM Denver campus and began firing shots. Two young missionaries were killed, and two injured. Twelve hours later, Matthew Murray’s rampage continued in Colorado Springs as he opened fire in the parking lot of a mega-church, killing two young women who loved and served God. He then took his own life.

One year later, a service is being planned to celebrate the lives of those who died. A three-mile solemn march will begin late Monday evening, December 8, with Arvada Police Department officers and others who served as first-responders after the shootings marching in cadence to the YWAM Denver campus. It will culminate with a one-hour worship and celebration service on the exact date of the shootings, December 9, in the same building where they took place and at the same hour. Murray’s parents will be in attendance, along with family members of those who were killed.

As the anniversary approaches, YWAM staff are grappling with a multitude of feelings, some dealing with fear and others remembering close friendships with those who died. But all agree that the events of December 9, 2007 have changed them forever and are part of who they are.

“It’s part of our story now,” said YWAM Denver Director Peter Warren. “We don’t try to glorify it in any way, but it’s part of who we are.”

It has been well publicized that family members of the victims and YWAM Denver staff members have grown close to the Murray family over the past year; in fact, the one word used most often to describe the emotional healing that has come to those most closely involved is that of forgiveness. Soon after the shootings took place, Warren explained, God made it clear to him that it was Murray’s own pent-up bitterness that drove him to carry out the attacks.

“He was unable to forgive, but the Lord showed us that the only way for us to move forward was through forgiveness,” Warren said. “Forgiveness is a personal choice.”

Warren said that one aid to emotional healing within his missions training center is the community living component which is held as a value within YWAM. Staff members share meals, pray and worship together regularly, and are able to share their feelings at deep levels on a regular basis. While some staff members went through professional counseling during 2008 to deal with the events of last December, all relied on each other to process those events and move forward in their call to missions work. “YWAM Denver is not a missions organization, it’s a missions family,” said one staff worker.

On the night of the shootings, Samantha Rostovich, YWAM Denver staff member and a friend of victim Tiffany Johnson, was sleeping directly above the corridor where they took place. Rostovich is in regular contact with Tiffany’s mother and says that the faith and strength of Tiffany’s mother have impacted her. “How can I be angry and bitter?” Samantha said. “Tiffany was her daughter and she’s not bitter.”

Legacy

Rosovich says that in her view, lives were cut short in their prime, motivating YWAM Denver staff workers to carry on with the work of these young missionaries. Warren points out that Johnson, and Philip Crouse, the second victim at YWAM Denver, had made a commitment to be willing to give up their lives for the sake of Jesus Christ during a worship time just one day before they were killed. During the memorial service after the shootings, Warren was reminded that the two YWAM Denver victims had asked to be used by God to impact many lives. “Their lives have impacted thousands of people around the world,” he said.

Increased security at YWAM Denver is not the ultimate issue, according to Warren. Although they have changed certain procedures, Warren says that ultimately it’s not possible to overprotect staff and students in a community where “we’re not changing the way we do ministry.” Open meetings and prayer times continue because this is part of who they are and how they minister to the community that surrounds them.

Kevin Verrone, a YWAM Denver missions trainer and personal friend of Philip Crouse, said Philip was helping him decorate his home for Christmas just a week before he died. The anniversary of his death is a difficult time for Verrone; he and other YWAM Denver leaders are encouraging people to be open about their struggles as the date approaches.

“There is a tension between moving on versus remembering,” Verrone said. “For me, it gives me a seriousness about why I do what I do….. it matters what we do.”