OFFERING HOPE TO THOSE TORN BY DESIRE TO CHANGE GENDER

THEN, JANUARY 1997: Men struggling with sex problems that scare away most churches could at last find help from a Christian who understood their problems.

The new counseling and support ministry in London, England for transvestites and transsexuals was run by a man who himself once had a secret life as a cross-dresser and at one time considered undergoing a "sex change" operation.

Keith Tiller met regularly with men who believed they were women trapped in male bodies, or who enjoyed dressing in female clothes, to offer advice and pray as they sought to change their lifestyles. His Parakaleo ministry was part of Youth With A Mission's Earls Court Project.

"I know what it's like to feel that no-one can possibly understand you. I can come alongside and say, 'I know, I have been there'," he said. "I am there to listen, pray, cry, whatever is necessary as they try to move forward."

While many transvestites and transsexuals claim to be happy dressing and living as women, a large number suffer from depression and often turn to drugs and alcohol, said Tiller - from research and his own experience. He had a nervous breakdown after the collapse of his second marriage and while in hospital was advised to consider "sex change" surgery - but became a Christian before going through with it.

NOW: Tiller averages a new inquiry every day - from someone struggling with their sexual identity, their partner or a church leader looking for help in how best to handle such a pastoral situation. Some people even contact him from overseas because they have nowhere to turn to near them.

Along with a growing awareness of the issues in mainstream society, Tiller has also observed an increasing number of contacts come from women wanting to become men. "Maybe 30 to 40 per cent of my inquiries would now come from women; the gap seems to be narrowing."

Now based in Watford, he meets personally with those who are able to travel to see him, and also spends a lot of time on the phone. Half those struggling have contacted him "under some form of coercion; there may be a marital situation, a wife threatening divorce. Sometimes it can be rather difficult because the people I see don't see any incompatibility with the path they are on and their stated Christian beliefs".

For the often shocked partners, Tiller tries to offer hope. "Usually they are very confused. The first thing is to explain what is really going on, and then to encourage them that there is hope if the person concerned is prepared to submit to God's working in their life - but it requires a lot of commitment."

Working on starting an international Christian organization teaching and counseling on transsexual and transvestitism issues with an American ministry similar to his own, Tiller's ongoing study has led him to "become more convinced that we are looking at a relational deficit in their lives that is manifesting itself in this sort of behavior".

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